Atmosphere
by lovefromhogwarts
Summary: I had trapped myself.   He gave me space to breathe. He showed me an atmosphere of more than just air, but of love & life.
1. Introduction

I can't remember the last time I felt 'normal'.

The word 'normal' had become irrelevant since the death of my father, two years ago.

To the world, I was merely a ghost. A shadow of who I was before.

And how exactly had a pretty girl with everything to envy become a shell?

People who have seen death don't exactly fit into a school—not even a school of magic. So Hogwarts was 'all that', but who cared if there was one more sad girl? Who cared if one girl felt like hell?  
>That's right. No one.<br>I was just another 5th year.

At least I was.


	2. Interesting

Remus Lupin smiled to himself as he hopped off the Hogwarts Express behind James. Sirius, and Peter. James and Sirius exchanged smirks, obviously pleased with something.

I don't know why he stuck out. He just did.

It wasn't like I'd never seen him; after all, we're in the same year. This time it was different.

The part that puzzled me? I had no clue _why_. He looked exactly the same with his blonde-brown hair, dark eyes, and unreadable expressions. _Maybe a bit more muscular_, I thought. _Wait, why did that come to mind? _I shook my head, as though it would clear my thoughts like an Etch-A-Sketch.

"Come on." My sister Marene gently pushed me. She'd bounced back right after my father's death, but she was careful around me. The times I wasn't depressed, I was angry. I had the fiery temper of my mother, and due to the state of my emotional wreckage, it was somewhat difficult to control. "We've got to get off."

"Mmhm," was my reply. Slowly, I got up and grabbed my bags. Marlene stepped off first and I followed her, slightly annoyed that her hair kept flying in my face. "Can't you get a ponytail or something?"

Sighing, Marlene tied her hair down. Sure, her dark hair was pretty, but flipping annoying. She always insisted on walking in front of me, therefore shoving her hair in my face. It's not a pleasant sensation. I caught stares as we headed towards the carriages, led by thestrals.

Another notable difference: I could see them. Marlene can't.

However, as we passed there, a sixth year (who was evidently completely full of himself) joked to his friend, "Bet you five Galleons I can get to second base with the little one." There was a glint in his eyes as he watched me. The closer we got to him, the more agitated I got. As we passed him, I kicked his shin and hissed, "Better save your money." I was pleased to see his eyes watering as we stepped into a carriage.

Slowly, the victorious feeling that had come from putting the guy in his place faded back to the emptiness. Marlene looked concerned and she could tell I'd sunk back into my shell. Her friends slowly filled up the carriage. "I'm going." I announced shortly, heading for the last carriage. Her 7th year friends annoyed me to no end, the way they twittered and flirted with each other.

The last carriage was always empty.

Apparently, not this year. James & the gang (as I liked to call them; it's shorter and quite accurate) filled it. "Can I?"

"Can you what?" Sirius replied coolly.

"Sit_." He knew perfectly well what I meant, why did he ask? It certainly doesn't make him any cooler._ However, anything to get away from my sister was worth it. She thought she needed to be my therapist. Well, I don't need a therapist; thanks Marlene.

"Mmm…" James mused, heaving a fake sigh. "It depends."

"On what?"

"Are you a Slytherin?" They asked together. For once, they didn't seem like they were kidding.

"I've been in your House for five years!"

"You have?" Peter asked.

"Honestly, I didn't think you guys were as oblivious as you act."

"I knew that," said Remus. _At least someone knew I had existed there for years._ "You got Sorted right before me." _Nevermind, he only remembers me because I put on a stupid hat before him._

"So… um…" James seemed awkward around me. "Thinking about trying out for Quidditch?"

"No." I said simply. They could just talk, I'd be fine with just disappearing into the carriage. But no, even their group was chivalrous enough to not ignore me.

"Why not?"

"Don't know. I mean, I'm fine with a broom, it's just not thrilling." In fact, when I thought about it, nothing much as thrilling. The most thrilling thing in my life was probably sleep, because nobody would bug me and I could just forget… forget it all.

"Well, what do you do for extracurricular stuff? Astronomy club?" Anyone could've figured out he was trying not to laugh at the suggestion.

"Nothing really."

"Nothing? You do absolutely nothing?" Sirius had joined the conversation, his voice laced with shock.

"Absolutely nothing." My voice was dull. _What's so wrong about that?_

"Wow."

The carriage sunk into a silence, seeing as Quidditch and pranks appeared to be the only things wired into these boys' brains. It would be an understatement to say I was grateful when the carriage arrived at the castle. _I'll go up to my dorm, or visit the house-elves or something. _Even though I knew the food would be great, I really wasn't in the mood. The gang emptied out and I followed them. Once we were inside the castle, I immediately headed towards the stairs leading to the fruit painting. The boys appeared much more relaxed. Relieved none of them had asked questions, I tottered down the stairs before realizing that there were footsteps following me.

_How the bloody HELL had I missed that?_

I turned around and was shocked. Remus Lupin stood two steps above me, his look analytical.

"Where are you going?"

"Kitchens. Why aren't you at the feast?" My tone was completely controlled. Not showing any emotion was my specialty.

"Following you seemed much more… interesting."

"I see. Suddenly I'm 'interesting'. For your information, I'm just going to the kitchens to get some food—yogurt, perhaps—and then seeking the privacy of my dorm room. There. I just saved you 15 minutes and a load of effort and explanations. Now go join your little friends at the feast."

"Will you come with me?"

"No."

"Why?"

"I don't want to, okay?" He was nagging me. Remind me why I don't like that? Oh yeah, that name: Marlene Evelyn Willows.

"Fine." Remus sighed, wisely deciding not to spark my temper.

"Fine." I repeated coolly, before turning around to tickle the pear and let myself into the kitchen.


End file.
